Tuesday, 28 April 2009

I Just Want Her To Know I’m So Sorry, I Never Meant To Hurt Her


Dear God,

She was my best friend. We listened to Foo Fighters, kept each other company studying in the library, I felt at ease when I was with her. What she didn’t see was me spiraling down; anxiety, depression, compulsion. What I didn’t see was her asking to come over late at night, bringing me coffee to cheer me up. She didn’t know what was wrong but she knew it was something.

One night we kissed. She stayed over in my bed. We both woke up in each others arms, hung over and smiling. over the next month but I got worse, i was afraid. she wanted to be close to me and I was terrified of everything going wrong in my life. I pushed her away.

I take medication now, I see a therapist once a week, I even stopped drinking. She has gone though, we said we would still be friends but we wont. She was my best friend. I could see myself marrying her. Everyday I think of how happy I was to wake up next to her and how I probably wont see her again.

I just want her to know I’m so sorry, i wasn’t myself, and I never meant to hurt her. If you can let her know that I’d be grateful.

No comments:

Post a Comment